Something Is Missing

Mental health and Football Manager tend to often go hand in hand, some may say it causes stress and anxiety – and we could all see that point of view at times I’m sure. However there is another side to it, a side of storytelling, immersion and escapism, this is what I crave when I boot the game up. I’ve had some phenomenal adventures and ‘universes’ over the years, and it’s not far-fetched to say they have helped me through some dark times, and I’d go as far as to say it’s even saved my life.

FM26 hasn’t exactly gotten off to a winning start, bugs, UI issues, missing features, too many clicks, I could go on – but I won’t. However they have made great strides chipping away at it and it is improving. I started what I planned to be my main save, bringing Twitter (or X as no one calls it) thread legend Tygo van Wijk back, I put aside the issues and cracked on regardless hoping any changes would be save compatible – and they were. I was flying and enjoying the save so much, I didn’t really notice the issues, and with modders smashing stuff out the park, it helped to improve the experience, however something was still missing, something felt off. One thing that really is lacking for me personally is the immersion and world building this time around. It feels odd to say but I don’t connect with the pixels like I normally do? I love making graphics to tell stories in my save universes, but even doing that I still felt like the connection was lacking, and I recently had a couple of days where I didn’t play the save, when I loaded it up, I felt like I’d loaded someone else’s save, there was no connection.

I sat staring at the screen for about 30 minutes, nothing, not a twitch of the mouse, my arms felt heavy when I thought about playing – that’s definitely not a good sign! I sat watching some tele and was thinking about why I was so quick to disconnect from the save, and obviously it was due to that lack of immersion. I realised quickly that if I want that connection to remain, I need something that means something to me, something to hook me in, and that’s why you’re reading this waffle now – I know what I want to do.

Before I go on, the Tygoverse will remain on the back burner, I won’t kill it off, just in case I fancy a return at some point.

The Impact Of Connection

Back in 2012, I made YouTube videos on FM and I started a series called Grassroots to Greatness, I would normally manage Hinckley United as they were known then, and I would go on to take them as far up the leagues as I could, sometimes we made the Prem, other times we didn’t. I used Hinckley as they were 5 minutes away from my house at the time, so it made sense to me! Fast forward to August 2020 when my life changed forever, my marriage ended out of the blue, I lost everything and after 15 years I found myself on the floor of my old bedroom at my parents with clothes and my PC nothing else – even worse, it was a hardwood floor as well, so murder for my back! I ended up in the darkest place imaginable, one I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. To try to get my mind off it all, my brother started taking me to Atherstone Town games with him, proper local, non league football – I fell in love. They were striving to become a real community club, and they had ambitions to climb the pyramid. 

My first game was a Tuesday night away day at Paget Rangers, who were playing at Sutton Coldfields ground at that time. It ended in a 3-2 loss for the adders, but for me it was 90+ minutes of escapism from the hole I was living in. Sadly the season ended after 13 games for the Adders due to Covid, they were 9th at the time – my escapism was gone, in stepped FM to save the day. I downloaded one of DanFMDatabases superb Level 10 (possibly lower) databases, and took over at Atherstone. What followed was one of my favourite saves of all time as we battled our way towards the football league, the first season of the save we failed to get up on the final day (I was angry!), the next season I destroyed the league and then progressed well over the years. The love affair with Ben Voisey, a newgen who was named after an SI staff member, was a key narrative in the save. I spotted him playing for Marine, he was destroying teams up front and bagging goals like he was playing against toddlers! It took me 3 years to finally get him once we got to the National League North and he cost a whopping £15k. He went on to be the clubs record scorer, appearance maker and all round legend, scoring in every league from the National League North to the Premier League. It’s madness to write this but that save and the pixelated incarnation of a man who I never knew existed and has no idea what I do, saved my life.

The connection that I had started with the club helped build the immersion, and narrative of the save. It gave me an escape from everything swirling around in my head at the time, that’s the beauty of football, and football manager. The new season came around in the real world, and it was one hell of a season, the club going on to win the title. It was also a very special one for myself as Adam Davies and Ross Innes who were joint managers at the time, along with Dave Turner took me into the club and gave me a platform to create the graphics for their matchdays, and the programme covers for home games. It was a special time for me as I was part of something really special, the whole community took me in and supported me, I got an award at the end of season ceremony, I am so grateful to everyone involved with the club for that period of my life.

The following season was another great experience, I redesigned the club’s crest, modernising it slightly, there was a great cup run highlighted by a superb video with a speaker, the song Pump It Up and a service station. FM wise I was now on a different save, but I was still fully in world building and immersion mode with Kilsyth Rangers in Scotland, and Ben Voisey was there with me as he had generated once again.

Yes Paul, this is all very uninteresting, what does it have to do with your save?!

Whats The Plan?

I know, I know! Basically, I want to see if I can get that connection back, I want to go back to Atherstone, and see what stories unfold. I feel that due to the personal connection I have with them may just help build the immersion missing from the game, and help create some really cool narratives. I don’t get to go to the games much anymore due to work and other stuff, but Atherstone is still really close to my heart and always will be. They have continued to grow as a club and upgraded the grounds facilities, media and more. Thanks to the club and especially my brother, Davo, Ross and Dave Turner, my first and main footballing love Crewe Alexandra signed me up as they graphics guy, I even got to create their kits for the 2024/25 season which was another dream come true as I was long known for creating kits in FM.

So it’s time to see if that personal connection, and past adventures can rekindle what the game is lacking right now? Thank you for taking the time to read this intro explaining ‘why’ I am going down this rabbit hole, and hopefully you’re still awake! I will begin the save once the database drops (this weekend I believe), so I will see you then.